The latest theories about Iranian nuclear scientist Shahram Amiri are that he was kidnapped by the CIA or was a willing defector (and later, a double agent). But the facts don't seem to be matching up too well for either scenario.

So here's a conspiracy theory: Amiri wasn't kidnapped and he wasn't defecting, either. He's just an incompetent would-be traitor who wanted to sell out the Islamic Republic for cold hard cash (Editor's Note: We really have no great issue with Iranians selling out the Iranian regime -- we just wanted to note that Amiri's motivations may have nothing to do with any great love for the USA or opposition to the thuggish Mullahs back home).

Here's how the scenario goes. Amiri goes to Saudi Arabia to do his religious duty -- perhaps as pre-emptive penance for the treason he has planned. Possibly, he enjoys the company of some Russian hookers after he finishes up at the mosque. He then proceeds to enter the USA on a commercial airliner and wanders out of the airport.

Next, he hunkers down in the relative backwater of Tucson, Arizona while contacting the CIA to negotiate the turnover of sensitive nuclear secrets.

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