The United Nations Security Council has voted to send 300 observers to Syria to observe the non-ceasefire between jihadist-dominated rebels and a relatively secular totalitarian dictatorship.

"We've got deck chairs, coolers filled with ice-cold beer and all the bags of popcorn and Doritos we could carry," says one designated UN observer. "This is going to be awesome, like watching one of those really gritty war-movies in real-life. It's a shame people have to keep dying, but neither side is backing down and it's not like anything we do will make the slightest bit of difference. Some of us might as well be entertained, right?"More >>