Sudanese Writer Al Haj Waraq explains why Egypt is in grave danger thanks to the rise of the Islamists, who are perfectly happy to take power democratically and then remove that option for other parties.More >>
Iran has consistently tried to reassure the West that they would never pursue nuclear weapons because there is a fatwa (religious ruling) against it, by none other than their Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Khamanei.
(For some reason, we were supposed to be reassured more by the arbitrary ruling of their top theocratic fascist than by the ordinary thugs working for the regime).
"We just don't understand it," a Pakistani airline official said following the Boeing 737 airplane crash that killed 127 people. "The pilot was a pious man who excelled at his madrassa. A man who can recite the entire Koran by heart is certainly able to handle a modern passenger jet, whether or not he's actually attended flight school -- and this man had not. This doesn't make any sense."More >>
The United Nations Security Council has voted to send 300 observers to Syria to observe the non-ceasefire between jihadist-dominated rebels and a relatively secular totalitarian dictatorship.
"We've got deck chairs, coolers filled with ice-cold beer and all the bags of popcorn and Doritos we could carry," says one designated UN observer. "This is going to be awesome, like watching one of those really gritty war-movies in real-life. It's a shame people have to keep dying, but neither side is backing down and it's not like anything we do will make the slightest bit of difference. Some of us might as well be entertained, right?"More >>
The Propagandist's Allies are planting the seeds of the enemy's destruction. Soon, we shall have a thriving, emerald forest filled with birch, pine and oak trees, where our foes shall be so distracted by the verdant glory that they don't notice us sneaking up behind them with bows and arrows a la the Hunger Games.
Right. Anyway, here are the latest dispatches from our comrades:
Reports of a renewed Taliban offensive in Afghanistan all got it wrong. Almost without fail, pundits have concluded that the mere capability of the Taliban to launch attacks is proof that the war is unwinnable and Afghanistan is lost. If anything, this latest violence underlines the opposite conclusion.
The Taliban can't launch a major offensive to seize territory. Most of the country hates them. They lack widespread indigeous support and without Pakistani and Iranian logistical backing, they would have died away years ago. They are reduced to "attention getting" attacks of opportunity. "Look at us, CNN! We're still around. We're still fighting the jihad! We can still [BOOM BLAM BLAM BLAM] oh crap I'm dying."
The attacks they undertook against embassies and military installations were wholly ineffective. Four civilians and 11 Afghan security personnel are dead in exchange for 36 Taliban casualities. This was hardly Stalingrad or Normandy. It's not even Tet. The embassies are still running just fine. The military bases are still secure.
The critical problem in Afghanistan is not our own capabilities, but the lack of a clearly-stated mission by ourselves and our allies. Instead of talking about why we are in Afghanistan, the entire conversation...More >>
Mr. Madondo says he has lost 21 pounds during his hunger strike -- roughly five pounds a week. He assures his supporters that his life is not in danger.
That's no hunger strike. That's the South Beach diet. If I were him, I'd celebrate some healthy gradual weight loss and call it a day.
Mr. Madondo is not chilling in some brutal prison in some backwater country. No secret police ever knocked on his door. He is quite safe and totally free to come and go as he pleases. That's because he lives in one of the world's great democracies, where his freedoms are absolutely protected.
So, why is Madondo so upset that he felt a politicized need to avoid cheeseburgers and pizza (but perhaps allow himself a moderate amount of whole grains, steamed vegetables and a small portion of lean chicken drizzled in a Thai curry...More >>
Instead of protesting the bloody tyranny in Syria, ethnic cleansing of Copts in Egypt or the torture of religious minorities and dissenters in Iran, a wave of "activists" tried to descend on the Middle East's only Western democracy that respects human rights -- and were mostly turned back by airlines that had no interest in paying for their tickets home when they would be rejected by immigration officials.
PALESTINIAN ACTIVIST. So, where are the rest of you?
FLYTILLA REP. What do you mean? Haven't more of our comrades arrived already?
PALESTINIAN ACTIVIST. Noooooo... And there aren't really enough of you guys to have a decent march.