Teddy Bears' Pre-Mission Briefing for Belarus Airdrop
Belarus' dictator Alexander Lukashenko is outraged that Swedish nationals air-dropped teddy bears with messages supporting human rights onto the territory he runs with an iron fist. The Propagandist magazine has obtained a partial transcript of the pre-mission briefing for this lightning operation into the heart of totalitarian Europe.
PADDINGTON BEAR. "Now, listen up, bears! The Swedes are going to get us over the drop zone in two minutes! We are bringing messages of solidarity to the Belarusan resistance. This Psy-Ops mission could change the whole direction of the war."
WINNIE. "Sir, First Teddy Regiment is ready for action! But where's our extraction zone?"
PADDINGTON BEAR. "This is a one-way trip into enemy territory, bears. Most of you will not be coming back. With any luck, you'll manage to infiltrate the homes of small children, where you will inspire their families to fight for freedom."
BALOO. "Sir, what's the rule of engagement on accepting hugs and snuggles from our targets?"
PADDINGTON BEAR. "Standard operating procedure on that, soldier. You will be cute and cuddly at all times! Is that understood?"
BALOO. "Sir, yes, sir!"
PADDINGTON BEAR. "We are getting to the drop zone now, bears. It's been an honor serving with you. Get moving as soon as you land, accept any genuine offers of marmalade sandwiches and you'll be OK. Now go, go go!"
Jonathon Narvey is the Editor of The Propagandist