A mass gathering of psychopaths in the Philippines struck 11 villages simultaneously, attacking with chainsaws and guns. The villages are still under threat from horrific violence.

The cuprits are Islamist fanatics from the Bangsamoro Islamic Freedom Fighters (BIFF -- yes, it's pronounced, Biff). Not to worry, though. This thing happens all the time. Sure, it sounds terrible... but this kind of thing is sort of expected by now. Let's all just calm down. Nothing to see here.

Chainsaws.