The sun came out blazing today. I mean, it’s hot everyday, but today it’s been brutal, and since no one has air conditioning anymore, it can be lethal. The pool is the only option to cool off, and for many, it’s literally life saving.

On my way back from the hardware store in yet another failed attempt to buy an AC window unit, drenched in sweat, melting with every step I took, I considered going to the pool myself. But when I approached, the lines stretched past my scope of vision, so I decided against it. Plus it’s expensive, and while many people’s jobs supplement the cost of the pool pass, I work for myself (never took well to having a boss, so I became my own). I'd have to pay sticker price for the pass. I’m relatively young and in shape, and the heat ain’t gonna kill me, so I opted out of a dip in the pool.

But as I passed the entrance, a cop stopped me. “You gotta pay here to get into the pool,” he demanded.

“Oh, that’s alright officer, I’m not gonna get in. It’s hot and all, but I don’t have to go swimming, and it’s really too expensive for me right now. Maybe after my business takes off, I’ll have a little extra money to pay for the pool pass. But right now, my limited income is better spent investing in my business.”

“You have to get in the pool. Everyone does.”

“What are you talking about? Is that why it’s so busy today?”

“City Council passed an ordinance, everybody gets in the pool. And it’s always busy.”

“Not like this. I can’t even see the end of the line. And besides, I don’t want to get in the pool. You can’t make me swim if I don’t want to.”

“True, I can’t make you swim, but you have to buy the pool pass, whether you swim or not.”

“I don’t want the pool pass because I don’t want to swim. I’ve thought about this a lot, and while it’s true it would be nice to get in the pool, and I’d have the peace of mind knowing I’m not gonna overheat, the cost is not currently worth it to me. This is a free country, and if I determine the better course of action for me is to skip on the pool pass, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes I am. What are you gonna do if I don’t buy the pool pass?”

“We will fine you the amount of the pool pass.”

“That’s not fair. I don’t want it, I don’t need it, and I can’t pay for it. So why should I have to pay for it?”

“Because there are a lot of people in the pool that can’t really swim, and we won’t have enough money to pay all the life guards to watch all the people if everyone doesn’t chip in. That’s why you have to pay. For the extra life guards.”

“I see. Why are they in the pool if they can’t swim?”

“Because they’ll die from the heat if they don’t get in the pool.”

“Why haven’t they learned how to swim?”

“A lot of them can’t. Either they were born with the inability to learn, or something tragic happened to them out of their control, and now they can’t swim.”

“Oh wow, that’s terrible. All these people here, they were either born without the ability to learn to swim, or otherwise it was tragically taken away from them? There’s so many.”

“No not all of em. Many of them just refuse to learn how, or they made some stupid decisions in their lives and now they can’t swim.”

“What? Wait, why should I have to pay if they didn’t learn how to swim, or they willfully behaved in a manner that lead them to lose the ability?”

“Because the ordinance says so. Don’t like it, you can leave town.”

“Maybe I will.”

“Good, just know that we will still fine you.”

“Why? That’s not fair.”

“You’re a citizen of this town, you gotta pay the taxes of the town, even when you leave.”

“But that’s not a tax. It’s a punitive fee.”

“Nope, Judge said it was a tax…so it’s a tax.”

“So the pool is run by the town? And if everyone buys the pass and there’s money left over after they pay the extra lifeguards, the town gets to keep the profit?”

“No, a private company runs the pool. If any profit is made, it goes to the pool and the lifeguards.”

“Well that hardly seems fair. We pay all the money insuring the pool doesn’t lose money, but they keep all the profit if it makes it. They must really be doing badly right now if they need an ordinance forcing everyone to buy a pass.”

“Actually, no. They’ve had record setting profits for the last three years.”

“Huh?...Then why do they even need to make everyone get in?”

“Because there were a lot of people who wanted to get in the pool, but they couldn’t afford it, and the mayor wanted to make sure they got the opportunity to get in.”

“So they get to get in for free?”

“A lot of them do. I mean they would have paid for it if they could afford it, but they don’t have the money, so we let them in. Some of them were gonna die from the heat if they didn’t.”

“Well can I get in for free?”

“Do you make any money?”

“I make a little bit. But most of it goes right back into my business where it is better spent and where I plan on getting some return from my investment. There’s no return on a pool pass.”

“Yeah but one day you may need to get in the pool. You’re not overheating now, but perhaps one day you will.”

“I know. I’ve considered that. But I take care of myself, I don’t do activities that increase my chance for overheating, I’ve calculated the risk, and I think it’s better—for me—to skip on the pool pass for now. Maybe later, when I’m older, or I have a spouse and kids who may need to get in the pool, I’ll buy it. But it’s not worth it for me right now, so I’m not gonna pay, ok? Now can you please get out of my way so I can get home and get back to work?”

“Sure, but I’ll need your address first, so we know where to mail the fee.”

“I thought it was a tax?”

“Tax, fee, what’s the difference? You still gotta pay it.”

Why, the mayor’s never cared before if everyone who wanted in the pool got in, even if they couldn’t afford it.”

“All the other big, fancy towns are doing it. We need to be like them.”

“Since when have we cared what the other towns are doing?”

“I don’t know, but we do now.”

“These lifeguards, are the same ones who would let people drown if they’d already saved them too many times?”

“Yes, but now the mayor says they can’t do that.”

“Well, that’s something, I guess. What about education? Is some of this money going to teach swim lessons to the people who refuse to learn how to swim?”

“No, it’s going to the lifeguards. They can do what they want with it.”

“Wouldn’t it save money for everyone if we gave lessons?”

“Not for the lifeguards it wouldn’t.”

“You said they get to do whatever they want with the money. Are we at least regulating the money, seeing as it’s now a tax and all?”

“No, regulation is bad. Inefficient. Gets in the way of the free market.”

“But aren’t these the same lifeguards who kept letting people in the water and telling them it was fine when they knew it was contaminated?”

“No comment.”

“I mean, they are running the pool for profit, right? So they don’t really care who drowns or gets sick from the pool as long as they keep piling money on the bottom line. They are taking our tax money, you said it was a tax now, right?”

“Sure. Judge said it was.”

“They are taking our tax money without answering to a governing body, or facing regulation or at least additional scrutiny and using it to line their pockets with the profit? Does that sound like a good use of public money to you?”

“Well, now everyone can get in the pool. Even the people who were born without arms and legs. And kids can use their parents passes until they are twenty-six. It’s a tough economy out there, we need to help those people out.”

“It’s a tough economy for me too. I can’t afford to keep running my business and pay for a pool pass.”

“I guess you’ll have to get a job with a company that helps pay for the pool pass then.”

“But I don’t wanna work for one of those companies. Maybe I should be a lifeguard, they seem to have it made.”

“Do you know anyone on the board that hires lifeguards?”

“No.”

“Good luck with that then. But you better start looking for a corporate job, it’s a tough market out there.”

“Let me ask you, why are these corporations getting treated better than us people?”

“Oh, they are people too. Judge said so. Just people with a lot more money than you or me.”

“That’s insane. I don’t even know what to say to that…So I really have to pay for this pass.”

“Yep. But you better hurry and get in line. It starts four blocks back the way you came.”

Brendyn Sweet is a Contributing Writer for The Propagandist