If the only thing North Korea's new dictator Kim Jong Un has to do to consolidate power is improve the economy, that seems to be a very low benchmark.

NORTH KOREAN POLLSTER: How do you think our leader is doing on the economy?

NK CITIZEN: Last year, my family had one bag of rice between us. Now we have a bag of rice and a bottle of ketchup! Things really seem to be looking up. It's soooo much better than when that economic disaster Kim Jong Il was in charge.

NORTH KOREAN POLLSTER: Oh, really.

NK CITIZEN: No, wait!

NORTH KOREAN POLLSTER: Off to the gulag with you. And you can leave your ketchup on the table. You won't be needing it where you're going.